The Give-Up Gremlin Is On My Tail

I finally have a solution to my nursing woes. Its a sweet, innocent looking pill that is normally used to lower blood pressure. I see it as a miracle worker, an end to the pain. As usual, things are not what they seem.

There is this nasty side effect that only one mother in the study (study done by Dr. Hale on the use of this medication by mothers with the same condition I have) had. Headaches. Explosive, seeing stars kind of headaches. The other pain is gone only to be replaced with this pain. Supposedly the medication works in most women with only a two week span of taking pills. So I can tough it out for two weeks, I can stop and try some homeopathic remedies (all of which require lots of time), or I can stop nursing. Can you see the Give-Up Gremlin? There he is, right next to me.

I know that can't be the answer and that surely this too shall pass. But the Give-Up Gremlin sure does look friendly right now.

Rant Against Misinformation

several pieces of misinformation have recently cost us a lot of money lately. first i was diagnosed over the phone with thrush (an infection you can get while nursing). i've been treated 3 times with oral stuff and spent tons of money on preventative measures, i mean HUNDREDS so i wouldn't have to give up nursing Jackson. i read online that the baby didn't have to have it for the mom to get it. this was the basis for my continuing to think that was it.

then i found out today that it was proven last year that the baby DOES have to have it. it turns out i have something completely unrelated to infection and i've been doing all of these stressful preventative measures. soooo frustrating. nursing moms, if you are struggling with a "thrush" infection, message me or email and i will further explain my experience and tell you how to tell the difference.

the second thing was that my baby's pediatrician told me Jackson needed vitamin D supplements because he is exclusively nursing. we were told to give him this liquid vitamin stuff.
so we dutifully went and bought the vitamins and gave them to the baby. who promptly and violently threw them up. so i look up whether it was really necessary and it turns out my dr is only following the recommendation for babies. really the only ones who need vitamin D are those in cold climates without adequate sun exposure. la leche league says it isn't necessary as long as the mother has it in her diet each day. so blah. now we have a whole bottle of $10 liquid vitamins that our baby doesn't need.

anyone want some vitamins?

nursing issues...again

I've come down with my THIRD infection (the 2nd was a relapse from the first) associated with nursing! Sometimes it feels like nature is conspiring against me to get me to give up nursing the little one. Well its not going to happen; each time I start to feel like throwing in the towel, my iron will (inherited from my mom) snaps to attention. It goes something like this:

Iron Will "TEN HUT! I don't THINK so Garrett (Baker), you will NOT give up when you've come so far!"

Me: "buuuuuut it huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurts!!!

Iron Will "so did LABOR"

Me: "this is true. but this is the third time this has happened, why meeeeee?"

Iron Will: "stop your whining, at least you are ABLE to nurse!"

Me: "shutting up now...."

As you can see, there is no use thinking about giving up. Any advice on curing blocked ducts is appreciated!

Chocolate Epiphanies

I had a realization this morning, with my hands buried in dry ingredients for homemade chocolate cake. its not about me. my life is now 5% Amanda and 95% kiddos. and yet I don't mind because my view of motherhood has changed. I used to think that motherhood was about "balancing" your priorities equally. motherhood is really about doing the best you can with what you have been given.

not all mothers are able to breastfeed but I can, its a resource I was given. in turn, I have friends who were blessed financially and for them buying formula isn't a burden. both of us are doing our best to feed our babies with what we have been given.

most new mothers don't have to parent teenagers along with their first infant or work 24 hours a day. I do, but the flip side is that I also have my husband along side me 24 hours a day. most women don't get to work with their husbands.

as I make a "welcome" cake for our new boys arrival, I'm preparing my heart as well and hoping that his future here is bright.

thnx for prayers

Thank you to all who prayed for us during this difficult parenting time (see last entry). I have really felt your prayers and things are getting better. Jackson has had three straight days of going 4 hours or more between feedings (he sleeps like a hybernating bear during that time) and this morning he went 3 hours before being hungry! I'm so relieved! I figure he will continue to stretch them out slowly. He has grown in length again so I think that was the culprit.

Baby Difficulties

Jackson has begun needing to eat every two hours (start to start) and occasionally will only go an hour and forty five minutes. I've been through all the "tests" to make sure he is getting enough milk, he is wetting enough diapers, and that he truly is hungry. He's just going through a growth spurt and needing lots of nutrition. I've spoken to a lactation consultant but I don't really agree with her, her opinion is opposite La Leche League and many doctor's sites I've checked out.

I actually think Jackson may have been needing more frequent feedings for a while and I mistook the crying for gas. James and I have noticed since I've been catching his cues to feed earlier, he has seemed calmer. So essentially once he started feeding every two hours, he calmed down and has less fussy spells.

One of the hardest things about all of this is knowing the right thing to do. Everyone has a different opinion when it comes to newborns. You should put him on a schedule. You should NEVER put him on a schedule. You should pick him up when he cries. You should let him cry it out. I'm so conflicted between meeting his needs and spoiling him! Right now, James and I have decided to go with instinct and feed him when he shows hunger cues. I truly think its a growth spurt, although everything I've read says growth spurts last a few days and this has been going on for over a week. It started three weeks ago when he was feeding every 3 hours (pretty much since birth) and then suddenly needed a couple of 2 hour feedings per day. He gradually upped that until they are all two hour feedings.

I'm to the point that I figure that if I accidentally spoil him, it would be better to break him of a bad habit than potentially let him go hungry.

Really, I'm just very tired. I've been trying to do too much at once. I love couponing and getting bargains but its just not feasible until Jackson can go longer between feedings. I've been blessed with a job that allows me to focus on the baby during the day and with an understanding husband who will take care of our job responsibilities while I nurse. I'm so lucky to be where I am and I just need to slow down and count my blessings. Please just pray for me to remember that its ok to not do everything.

Delicious Low Fat, Sugar Free, High Fiber Granola Recipe

I have always loved granola but only ate it every now & then because its so unhealthy. Store bought is full of oil and sugar. So I started making our own when James & I committed to eating healthy. I LOVE this granola & am losing weight eating it!

Spiced Granola

6 cups rolled or steel cut oats(not quick or instant)
2 teas cinnamon
1 teas ginger
1/3 cup honey
3 egg whites
1/2 cup dried cranberries
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
6 oz bag dried tropical fruit (sometimes I can only find trail mix so I pick the nuts out)
1/2 cup sliced almonds

Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Combine oats, cinnamon, and ginger in a medium bowl. In a separate bowl, stir together the honey, egg whites. and applesauce. Add the wet ingredients to the dry and stir. Pat into a long pan or cookie sheet, loosely forming large mounds. Bake for one hour taking it out to stir every 15 minutes. Watch for large nuggets, they should be broken down into smaller parts during the stirring time or they will be soft inside. Let cool, then add fruit and almonds.

I always double this recipe because we go through it too fast otherwise. This recipe is picky cereal-eater approved!